An Expansive Life

Authentically You

Just say yes!

1st July 2018

How often do you find yourself saying no? No to your children, no to that amazing opportunity, no to a weekend away, no to anything out of your comfort zone. Or anything within your comfort zone actually. No seems to roll so easily off our tongues and keeps us in fear. But what would happen if we instead said yes? Here is a story about the power of saying yes.

Back in 2012 I was unhappy in my job. I had just started coaching and I felt my aura light up when I developed my business or worked on my spirituality. Not so much when I headed into the office. I had also just started to really get into Facebook, and followed 2 women on Facebook who ran retreats in Bali. One day I had decided to make contact with them and see if they were hiring. They weren’t so much hiring for a full time role, but did want to meet with me. So the following Saturday morning I drove over to the beachside suburb of Coogee and met these beautiful women at a café. We chatted for an hour or so, and what they really needed was someone to assist on their next retreat –in Bali - in 5 weeks. The deal was that I would need to pay for my flights, accommodation and spending money, but that the retreat itself would be at no cost, providing I assisted. I was also not paid to attend. I immediately said yes. Not because I thought I would go, but because I didn’t know how to say no (and just thought that I would email them later). I had after all, no real savings, no annual leave at work, no desire to go to Bali, and no passport (I had never even been overseas).

The most amazing thing happened though. After I had said yes, I felt almost an energetic push into going. I started to make plans. I organised for my mum to come and watch the kids for a week. I applied for leave without pay from work. I quit my job when my leave without pay was declined. I obtained a passport, booked flights, found money – and before I knew it I was flying off to Bali. All through the planning, everyone told me that I was crazy. That I didn’t know these women, that I was taking a huge risk, that anything bad could happen. What did happen though is that I had the most amazing, empowering experience of my whole life. It forever changed who I am. I made unforgettable friends and I learned what it was like to be fearless. In terms of the rest of my life, it was all ok too. I eventually found a new job; my kids had a great week with their Grandma, my savings built back up. Everything worked out just fine – in fact more than fine. It worked out better than I could ever have hoped. And much better than if I had instead said NO.

Now I am not saying that you should go overseas with people you don’t know and quit your job and hope it all works out. But I am saying that when we say yes rather than no, we come from love and not fear. We also open ourselves up to more than we otherwise would have. Just for one day, say yes…and see where it takes you.

Worthy of the path

15th July 2018

Once if not twice a day I walk the path around a lake near my home. It is my favourite time of the day, where I can relax and unwind, and look at the beauty of nature around me. At times the path can become quite crowded with people walking dogs, Mums and Dads pushing strollers, and little children riding their bikes.

Each time I see someone coming towards me that clearly needs more room on the path, I always step off the path and allow them room. Many times people say thank you, and sometimes they don’t. It was one of those people that didn’t, that ultimately taught me that I wasn’t “acting” worthy of the path (and made me change my whole perspective on the value that I place on myself)

One day I was walking along the path and I could see a Mum walking towards me pushing a large stroller. I immediately got off the path to allow her space. As she passed me she didn’t acknowledged that I had moved, and to be quite honest, this annoyed me. I shook it off though.

Later that week I was walking home from the lake along a path next to the road. Coming towards me was the same woman pushing her large stroller. Only this time she had her Husband with her, as well as their enormous dog. I moved to one side of the path but there just wasn’t enough room for all of us (as they were walking side by side, Mum with the stroller and Dad with the dog). I moved off the path and onto the road and fumed as these people walked side by side taking up the whole path and didn’t even acknowledge that I had moved (and put myself in danger for them, while walking on the road).

This was an amazing gift though, because it was then that I realised that I thought other people were more worthy of using the path than I was. I was also of the belief that if I moved off the path, inconveniencing and endangering myself, then other people would like and appreciate me. Yet they didn’t. And I had to ask myself; what did it matter if complete strangers approved of me? Why did I feel that I couldn’t use ANY of the path, yet others could use the WHOLE path?

Now when I walk I realise that there is a balance. If someone walking towards me needs extra path, I move to the left as much as I can, but ultimately it isn’t my responsibility to create space for them. It is theirs to create space for themselves - even if that means that they must get off the path. For I am just a worthy as anyone of using the path.